'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
