If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
