Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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