I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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