i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
