Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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