If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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