i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think people are normalizing furries
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
