I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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