I'm really into asian looking animals
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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