I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
