Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(840): View more from

Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Did you go home with that guy without me?

(479): View more from Arkansas

Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car

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(248): View more from Michigan

Public safety found my id!

(248): View more from Michigan

And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.

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(917): View more from New York City

im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out

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(618): View more from Illinois

No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.

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(917): View more from New York City

There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?

(434): View more from Virginia

Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES

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