Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize