I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
