where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
