Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
