You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
