This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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