On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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