Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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