dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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