We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
