If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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