Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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