its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
