we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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