We named our party play list daddy issues
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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