it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
