Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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