The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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