So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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