she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
