Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
