He kissed a someone with a penis
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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