She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
should my penis look like a turkey
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
