Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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