Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize