he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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