HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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