do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
