wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
