Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize