Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
