The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
