flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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