I CAN MOONWALK!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
