first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
