walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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