Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
