Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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