He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize