party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
