C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
