I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
