There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
