And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize