Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
