this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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