Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
