Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm way too hungover for life right now
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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