sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
