My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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