If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
