what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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