We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
